fkn H8 yew guys.

I hate couple pictures on facebook

They’re so annoying.

and tacky looking.

Like a side picture of [Name} and their bf/gf kissing.

Ahk. HATE IT

On a totally different note.

Alex is helping me with my research paper that was due on

Friday.

What a jem he is n_n

tanks bby!

I guess someone asked Shawn at some party

What he thought of his brother dating me.

That makes me angry >.>

that people are like, saying stuff, when it’s none of their business.

T.T It’s bad enough that I’m cast aside by those people;

They have to like, make my business a topic of their discussion.

ARGH I can’t wait to get the fuck out of Antigonish county.

And look back and laugh

when I’m more successful then all these dicks.

Fuck you guys.

-Mar

Long.

Hmmmmm.

driving give me so much time to think

I donno,

I would say it’s the same as how

Year ago Drew told me that he likes showers

Because he thinks a lot in the shower.

Maybe it’s not like that for him anymore;

But at the time it’ something he told me.

I thought a bit tonight.

About how I’m really selling myself short.

What with school and how I don’t do anything.

And with how I’m naturally an very artistic person

With a lot to show for myself

But I don’t.

At the time of driving,

Maybe it was just the smoke

putting me in a good mood,

but I felt very creative

and like If I was in class at that very moment

I’d have decided to start doing my work.

If it was a school night,

I’d get that sleep I need to have to stay awake

To her the lecture, to learn the stuff

And get the good marks

that would make my parents proud.

I donno, Maybe I’m not that person.

But if I can get a fifty in Math,

by doing the little that I do

I can only imagine the things I could do

if I actually tried.

I got a sixty in English.

I was talking to Mr. Mac

and he said everything I did,

I did incredibly well

For the small amount that it was.

I excel in English;

So why am I doing this to myself?

Another thing I thought about

Was how when I’m driving

I know the exact spot that I lost control of my car.

I get uneasy and my heart skips a beat every time I pas over it.

I think maybe the accident made me more mature as a driver.

I don’t speed nearly as much as I used to,

And I take my time,

Observe more,

And pay attention to the condition of the road.

There’s this dip in the road

That I will go out of my lane to avoid.

Meh, that’s a lame thing to say I guess.

But I feel better about my driving now.

Alex really likes Drew.

I’m sew happy about that!

I luff Drew.

He’s my best friend.

I’d like nothing more than every I meet to luff him too =]

He really likes Susan too.

Sew happi n_n

-Mar.

"I don't want no frogs grabbin my junk"

Alex hates megan fox

beucase he has a weird thumb.

LOL

-Mar

Hanging up my cape.

I'm done feeling invincible.

A car accident would do that to a person.

not that anyone should feel that way anyway.

ta'ts jsut...

Ridiculous.

Feeling pretty dissapointed

I was looking forward to seeing Alex all day.

But he ended up not coming.
My fault, i guess.

I was asleep wehn he was on his way

so he didn't come in.

hmmmmmmm =

Also kkindof pissed bookcase
I lost a half a pack of smokes in the crash!
Argh.

I'm hoping they're on hte floor in teh car

When i go see it i'm gonna look.

Basiclaly, i reacted to fast to going over the shoulder on a turn

and swirved lots n lots

and went off into the ditch.

Was kinda scurry for the two seconds that iw was happening.

I wans't too shaken up though.
which apparently mean I wa son drugs?

the crazy poeple that stopped to helped me

were triyng to tell me I was drunk

and on drugs.
I was like.

DAWH FAWK?
I'm fine.
Anyway, if i can't see alex tmro, I'll be PISSED
js.

In other News, I guess Nick het Janitor
of our school hung himself

in school today.

Iwas shocked to hear that.

I feel so bad!
He gave me a thing of candy once.

He was Sewww nice.

RIP old boy.

-Mar

POOP!

I'm currently in search of a new myspace profile layout

I came across this one which i really liked

but didn't want to use.it.

It's so tute!
-Mar

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER HANDS DOWN! D:

My blogs are getting more spaced out lately.

I find when I'm not depressed

I don't have much to write about.

I don't really care to write about happy stuff

for some reason.

Not that I'm happy.

Not that I'm not?

I'm just, normal as of lately.

Halloween is quickly approaching.

all the tacky Halloween costumes.....

DA FUCK?!?

A BUG WAS JUST CRAWLING ON MY FACE?!

ANYWAY!

Seeing all the tacky Halloween costumes at school today

made me remember how much i dislike Halloween.

maybe if people could actually successfully make

tasteful costumes

it'd be worth wile.

but nope. everyone sucks.

Can't say much for myself.

I am too lazy to do anything

so I'm out too.

I'm included in the suck fest.

EITHER WAY THOUGH.

I don’t work on the 31st,

so I’ma make some plans for tomorrow and the next day.

It appears that Alex has dibs aha.

WELL I cleaned my room quite a bit

Didn’t change my bed sheets yet I’ll do that tomorrow.

I’m gonna go to bed now

Goodnight world.

-Mar

Wonder why I'm so caught off guard, when we kiss.

Been enjoying the past few days

But is it at your expense?

I can't help but beat my self up

over something I'm afraid will happen.

the fact that I could prevent this.

knowing I'm not trying to.

-Makes me feel like a terrible person.

It's between:

Cutting ties now and saving the pain.

Or letting things go,

putting you at risk of a broken heart.

I don't want to be the one to blame.

I don't want to become the one you hate.

You are beginning to mean a lot;

I do think about you throughout the day.

and I do look forward to seeing you again.

Talking to you throughout the night.

But i know it's not the same.

It kills me to watch you hope for this

not knowing how things are going to go;

And quite frankly;

It Terrifies me.

But you know what hurts the most?

Devoting my time to getting close with someone

who could quit possibly neglect me

if I can't bring myself to feel the same.

If i take the time to get close with you,

I don't plan for a specific relationship

I just cherish the closeness I built over time.

Maybe this is wrong.

Maybe I'm a freak?

-Mar.

Happy mar day success.

HEI!

Soz for not posting in a few days.

I've been quite on the go

what with my 18th Birthday and all. =]
Went to Halifax today with Drew and Susan.
We met up with Carson and Kaitlyn.

Good times.

Smoked a little more tthen I'd of liked to in one day

but that's been a frequent occurrence as of late.
On my actual Birthday,
I went to susan's after school with aaron and Neil

then kadi came.
We hung around there for a bit.
Eventually susan and I met up with the rents

for Chinese fewd! NOMS!!!

I was given a Camera for the big day

and I baught a phone

which I dropped in a garbage can

at a Cafe' In halifax

and it ended up in a puddle of coffee.

The front keys won't work now.

I hate it anyway.

Got my weave too.
I'd be currently sewing it together

but I'm not. On the count of:

I don't have any thread T.T

BUT YEAH.
I'm at Drew's right now. Sitting alone in the living room

Drew and Susan are in his room with the kitten I brought him.
Ollie's her name.
hmm.
Tomorrow we're going back to the Nish
for drinks n such at Susan's
And To my demise I have to work 1-9 on Sunday.
then probably Hangskis with Alex on Monday or Sunday night.
IDK yet.
We'll see.
-Mar

LOL TY MATT FOR THIS AMAZING PICTURE.

tha'ts really All i have to say about that. LOL

I'm in a fairly sarcastin mood but in a good

humerus way.

Spent the past, little bit making mustaches and beards

fkin amazing fuhn.

Uhm, not a whole lot going on reallt.

excite for next weekend.

Also my fuckig phone randomly decided to stop working

So i can't text people.

I can receive texts but I can't send teh

So i'm looking into getting a new one.

SEW if yew text me and I don't reply.

That's why.

I'm gew bed I work 1-9 tmro YEUH

KB!

-#Mar

SERIOUSLY?

words can't really express how i feel right now

I have no idea what I would say

if he were here in front of me.

I've been doing well as you know;

for the past week and a half.
Today my progress was brought back a week.

Kenzie texted me saying:

"Ha ha i get to hang out with [Mark] before you you scrub"

[Mark] [not the guy's real name]

is a guy that I met while working with my mom

during the summer.

I thought he was a really nice guy and wanted to hang out with him.

I trend to make plans with him but i could tell he had very little,

if any, interest in the idea.

The first time I asked he said sure,
and ended up canceling on me an hour before.
the second and last time I asked

he said he would love to
but he didn't know when he could because of work and school.
Basically i took the hint and said it's in your hands then.
this was the last time I spoke to him.
which was a few weeks ago.

Now, come to find out;

the girl Kenzie is dating,, is friends with him.
it's upsetting that he's friends with someone like her

and he won't give me the time of day.

God knows what Kenzie told him.
I'm a little worried but at the same time I don't care

because I'm never going to have any sort of relationship with this person anyway.

The main thing that's upsetting to me

is how kenzie is so heartless towards me.
One of the last times we hung out

I had an anxiety attack that came in two waves.

I almost passed out twice

I was SO upset and bawling

and he was holding me telling me to breathe slowly

and telling me things were going to be okay.

Feeds me all this bull hsit about how He'll always care about me [not that I care]
but the fact that he said and did this

and then he takes every opertunity he can get

to hurt me.
while I'm trying to move on and heal from him.
Knowing, that I'm not in a healthy mental state,

knowing I've been going to counciling every week

for the past few months

he does this.

He has no shame

and i think that's what hurts the most.
I jsut want him to eave me alone for good.
-Mar